Are the Inmates Running the Prisons?
The New Age of Coaching and the Crisis in Youth Sports
I was once stopped at halftime of a JV game while cheering on our team, waiting to coach a varsity high school basketball game. A parent pulled me aside into an auxiliary gym, visibly upset.
“Coach,” she said, “I’m ashamed you let that kid back on the team. He’s embarrassed our community enough. I thought you had more dignity than to allow that clown to play. How many chances does a kid get after being kicked off teams?”
I stood there calmly, listening. Then I smiled and asked her the first thing that came to mind:
“Did you ever watch The Longest Yard? Who did you root for — the guards or the inmates?”
That 16-year-old she was talking about? He’s been through hell. A rough home life. Constant instability. Do we punish him by taking away the one place he might find growth, discipline, and hope? Or do we give him another shot?
I chose the latter. And I don’t regret it.
I laughed on the ride home to myself, thinking of that comment made. How absurd that parent probably thought it was. It inspired me to think about and evaluate the crisis we have in high school sports. Less kids are trying out. Varsity high school coaches are now recruiting to fill a roster in the high school hallways. 25 years ago, cuts were inevitable in high school sports. Parents are trying to control the game from the stands, pushing coaches and officials to walk away from being involved doing something they love.
Are We Losing the Soul of Youth Sports?
We hear it all the time:
- “Youth sports are burning kids out before high school.”
- “Parents are ruining the game.”
- “Kids don’t love the game like they used to.”
By the time they reach varsity, numbers are down. Kids who once begged for a ball now avoid the gym. How did we get here?
We used to develop kids. Now we market them.
We used to coach kids. Now we cater to them.
And when players become disengaged, entitled, or apathetic, many teams start feeling less like teams — and more like holding cells.
So yes — to many, comparing student-athletes to inmates might sound absurd. But when coaches feel like they’ve lost control, when kids demand the spotlight without putting in the sweat, and when adults allow it out of fear of confrontation — we’re not far off.
The inmates are running the prison.
How Do We Fix This?
It’s easy to point fingers — at parents, at youth leagues, at social media. But blame doesn’t build culture.
So here’s what I offer instead: Be G.U.A.R.D.S.
It’s a blueprint for anyone — coach, parent, or mentor — to help reclaim youth sports.
G – Genuinity
Kids can smell fake a mile away. Be honest. Be yourself. Let them feel your authentic love — for the sport, and for them. Don’t be involved just to boost your own child.
U – Unified
Youth and varsity coaches: Get on the same page. Build a pipeline, not just a program. Varsity coaches, show up for the traveling youth and middle school games.. Fist bump. Watch practice. Let the community know you're invested for the long haul.
A – Adjust
Times have changed. Your old-school mindset might have helped you, but today’s kids need something different. Shorter sessions. Smarter training. Mental health support. Adjust — without losing your standards.
R – Respect
From the earliest ages, show kids what real respect looks like. Don’t mistake discipline for yelling, or respect for fear. And stop demanding it — earn it. Relationships matter more than resumes.
D – Discipline
Kids still crave it. They want structure, they want expectations. But if you're yelling to unload your own baggage — step away. Get right within yourself before trying to lead others.
S – Success
Winning isn’t everything. At the youngest levels, we bench the “weaker” kids in favor of early bloomers. And then we wonder why those kids quit later on. Success is laughs in the dugout. Inside jokes in the locker room. Memories that shape lives. That’s the kind of win that lasts.
The Final Whistle
Maybe one day, the parents and coaches in our communities will look in the mirror and ask:
“Is this really working for our kids?”
Right now, too many are avoiding that question. They’re wrapped up in their own egos, living through their kids, ignoring the quiet damage being done. And until we change that...
The inmates will keep running the show.
To the controlling, over the top parent, you are the inmate too!
But it doesn't have to stay that way.
Let’s take back the culture — one kid, one team, one volunteering adult at a time. A culture where everyone is on a similar page. A culture in which by the end of high school you have to hug the kid off the court because he does not want it to be the last game. A culture in which begging kids to play is a thing of the past. A culture in which parents can sit back, relax, and focus on cheering again.
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